August 15, 2012
Deepto went to his dad’s office. Today was kid’s to work day at his dad’s office. First time
Deepto went when he was 2+. Every year he is going. When he was leaving, gave him hugs
and kisses while thinking, is there any chance that I will be able to see him going to his own job?! The word “No” is pulling me!
He will be back after the art class in the afternoon. Last night before going to bed he asked me if I would be alright by staying alone. (He is having Summer break now.) In the morning he said first thing to his dad that doctors drained out fluid from his grandfather’s (my dad) head. He heard it before going to bed. After I finished talking to my mother, he asked how his grandpa was doing. My dad is in the hospital (in Bangladesh) for a while. He remembered his grandpa’s condition after waking up.
After Ramadan started, he started asking again and again, he wants to do the fasting. I told him his fasting is to not use the laptop, to not play video games. (These days he is using it very much.) His thought is that if he fasts he would understand more how it feels to not having something. It may help reduce his addiction of using laptop, playing games. Maybe true or maybe not. I told him he is not getting the chance to experiment it. His dad has different opinion. He asked him to do several fasting in a day! My thought is, if someone doesn’t walk into other’s shoes it’s hard to understand the pain. But to become/stay as a sensitive person, it’s not necessary to walk in everybody’s every shoe. I think human beings are sensitive by birth (some are very, some are too much, some are less, some are much less). It’s not achievable by practicing. After finishing a month long fasting (Ramadan) how many people change their habits?! In Bangladesh, people spend more for food, clothes (for the upcoming Eid) in this month! People can have fun, enjoy life with the sense of limitation.
Couple of days ago went to a friend’s house to the Puja festival. Before going there answered some questions from Deepto about Hindu religion. Another day while answering some questions regarding fasting I told him that he needs to know some basic things about religion (all religion) so that he never even unwantedly hurt someone’s feelings. I am telling him for several years that religion is a very personal thing. Whether someone believes religion or not, practices it or not, believes in God or not, all are very personal things and right. On that day told him that it’s better not to know too much about religion. Otherwise it will hurt. He asked why? Told him, every religion puts down women. Asked, how? Asked him, how many men do you see wear hijab? In this hot summer didn’t have to explain more! Didn’t tell him that, if one day men were forced to wear hijab and do all the work women do, I believe some men would never talk about hijab anymore!
If someone is thinking why I am talking about hijab only, or not mentioning about other religion etc., to let them know, I believe in self-questioning. First I will question myself, question people of my nationality, question people of my race, question my culture, and question the religion in which I was born in. If there are no questions about these, that’s really good. Questioning of other race, nationality, culture, and religion will be asked by the people of that race, that nationality, that culture, that religion. I am not saying that I wouldn’t be aware of the questionable issues of other race, nationality, culture, religion etc. I will know/learn those but wouldn’t say anything. Wars, fighting start when human beings question, attack about other people’s race, nationality, culture, religion. Similarly I wouldn’t listen to men talking about hijab. The way I ask question, protest about the rules, regulations forced to women by the name of religion; the same way I ask or protest against something forced upon in the name of culture, commercialization, nationality etc. not only to women but every human being. Sometimes by raising my voice or sometimes silently. If someone is thinking that I dislike women who wear hijab, they are wrong. The place where I live in, there are quite a few Bangladeshi women who wear hijab. Some of them were/are besides with me and my family during my crisis.
The clothes someone wears is that person’s right. Whether I like it or not. The painful thing is that, someone is wearing too much in the name of religion, someone is wearing much less in the name of freedom. They are not getting the message that the reason is just one and the same! To see women as a commodity, subject of men’s entertainment. Religious fanatics want to cover women completely so that nobody sees his object of pleasure. And in the materialistic society men want to enjoy even by their eyes by using the word freedom/liberation. Thinking is the same, women are commodity, subject of men’s lust, entertainment.
Couple of years back Deepto asked, “What is a feminist?” I told him according to his age. After that he asked, “Are you a feminist?” My short answer, “No, I am more than that, I think, try to understand more. I am a humanist. Do you understand?” His answer was shorter than that. He said “yes” by nodding his head!