September 12, 2013
There was a study by U.N. on some Asian countries, in every four men one is a rapist. Among those countries are Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, Cambodia, China, Indonesia, and Papua New Guinea. More than ten thousand male from cities and villages took part in the study. Many times many things don’t get included in the studies. But still get some ideas from it. Among the information a few data points are: 24% forced their wives to have sex, 45% raped multiple women, 73% think it’s their right, 59% did it for sexual pleasure, 38% to punish women! Another study shows childhood marriage rate is 64% in Bangladesh! Another news: in Yemen an eight years old girl died on wedding night after marriage to a forty years old man! I want to add something here, have to remember that in many countries there is no report of rape. Women never speak about it. Men always deny it. If any woman cries for rape she will be the one who will be prosecuted.
Now what are these news telling? Don’t this news tell that a woman is only a commodity to lots of men! Now come to the Asia factor. Most of the countries are Asian! If add many gang-rape cases over the several months in India with these won’t be a wrong idea. Why these types of thinkings are there in Asia, it’s time to think. In these countries multiple religions exists. So can’t analyze only relating to religion, even though it’s an indirect factor. Here culture is a more important factor than religion here. What’s that? Valuing women. In many Asian countries including Bangladesh, India there is a superiority complex of thinking that they are very family oriented. It’s really true that they are family oriented. But all things have pros and cons. They respect elders. Yes I also believe in respect. But respect for all. Not only elders must get it. To get respect age is not the only barometer. Nor gender. Everyone should be respected. Unnecessarily too much respect to elders sometimes can lead to keep nourishing many flaws in the family, society, culture, country. Still now in Bangladesh teachers in schools don’t even acknowledge that physical punishment is wrong. It’s far away to be labeled as crime! But it’s a crime. Can’t make anyone better by physical punishment. Same thing goes with the parents. If it’s allowed then who will make the limit and who will keep tracking if the limit is broken or not? I know many cases where teachers, parents physically punished students and children which were simply physical abuse. The culture of respecting elders too much can lead children to not saying, complaining of those abuse! Or who are abusing them. Or what type of abuse are those.
Another thing elders don’t listen to children that much, if listen they find flaws with the children, scold them etc. If a child don’t have friendly relationship with guardians (s)he won’t tell if even being sexually abused. This way children will keep hiding physical, sexual abuse from elders and keep those inside. If that child is a girl, later she would think that she should tolerate physical, sexual abuse! And still in many countries (including Indian subcontinent) people think husband is a kind of “guardian” for women! In the viewpoint of culture or religion! How many educated people think that their spouses are their partners in life? Not talking about half educated or illiterate people. By the peculiar nature of human psychology the boy who is seeing his mother being abused by his father will later beat his wife! It’s nothing to his family, society! This is his right! From that thinking of his “right” he will forced his wife to have sex to satisfy his desire even if she isn’t interested! It’s her duty to satisfy him! And if religion supports this, who stops him? That’s why 73% said that it’s their “right”! How many educated men think that having sex with unwilling wife is rape?! Since wife or women are subject of fulfilling lust (commodity for pleasure), so if not willing force to rape and satisfy the desire! That’s why 59% did it for pleasure. Men learn from family and society, by seeing how it treats a raped woman, that to “teach” or “punish” a woman there isn’t anything greater than rape! That’s why 38% did it! Having sex with a minor is rape. Marrying a minor automatically makes someone rapist! By thinking about the eight years old Yemeni girl makes me think, fourteen/fifteen years back or more newborn girls were buried alive in those societies. Have the society, country changed that much in the eyes of that little girl?! Those countries are filled with tens of millions of those losers!