November 21, 2013
Tonight I am having nostalgia! Sleep took vacation! From Ozaki sensei’s memory to life in Japan, then life at Purdue so many things are coming! Seems like baskets are coming like waves! Till today I used say I store each one’s story in boxes. Tonight it seems like baskets, not boxes! Last time brought bamboo baskets, different types of grass baskets with other things from Bangladesh. Like previous times. I cans see baskets are floating towards me! Each bears someone’s name! Very dearest ones very close ones, relatives, favorite friends, many known people, slightly known people, unseen people who I know names!
If I don’t open a particular basket at 3 AM now it would be wrong! My mother-in-law. She is almost eighty now. Got hurt so many times! In Bangladesh an honest police officer’s wife must have fights in her life! She suddenly became widow with six children while her husband died in a car accident. Her eldest son just got a job as a teacher in a university. He also got married just some time ago. Second son just started medical school. Eldest daughter was busy with her own family. She had three younger children who were very young then. Mizan was twelve. Youngest one was nine! Very hard life started! Second son left Dhaka medical college. Got Russian scholarship to a medical school there. Eldest son took in charge of raising three younger ones. After finishing study second son returned and took responsibility of the study of two younger brothers at Bangladesh University of Engineering and Technology. Then came Mizan’s turn. Life became harder and harder of this struggling woman’s life!
Children finished their studying, got established in their carrier, have their own families. Now her life should be at least a bit full of happiness! No those things happen in stories! There are some untold stories which won’t be told! The stories to share are, my cancer fight. Before that the elder daughter was diagnosed with heart problem. Had open heart surgery. But just after ten years he suddenly went to the place of no return! Youngest daughter also have a different type of heart disease. Meanwhile the eldest son suddenly had a massive brain stroke and left for the place of no return. She watched her two children’s untimed death! Whenever Mizan calls her she asks, “When are you coming?” Each time Mizan reminds her of my fight. She forgets and next time same thing! Mizan calls her late at night or early in the morning when Deepto and I are sleeping or goes to another room if I am there.
Because he has to answer the same question each time I understood this! I have to live with this guilt, Mizan can’t go to Bangladesh to visit her because of me! A son can’t go to visit his old mother because that son’s son who just started teen age can have her mother for some more years!